New year 2011 – Conversation with myself

It’s a super formatted date (01.01.2011) the first date of 2011. I have just left behind 2010 and fallen in 2011. Something has already mark as past and something still remain. In the?previous?year 2010 I messed up and again covered with dream. It has happened again and again randomly.

Most of my friends, relatives are enjoying the new year’s first day. But I am not. Because any kinds of celebration make me more messed. I have some new dreams, new hope but don’t want to left behind the 2010. Something I want to keep with me always. In 2010 I have managed and planned something for my career, for my study life, for my personal life. But my whole plan wasn’t completed successfully. I have some plan for somebody but now they are not like that. It’s not my fault. They can’t wait anymore. I have planned to build my own company ‘Preview ICT’ within 2010. It’s also pending. Some people came to me as new friends, some are gone away, some are still with me.

In the last season of 2010 I was in financial crisis, that’s why I was unable to continue my study and it is still paused. But may be it will be continued in this year with new inspiration, new hope and?continuous target. Someone entered in my brain, in my life. Don’t know the future. Someone is trying to mess me up. But I know he/she/they will not be successful because I know about that with my?intelligence.??Someone is still trying to push me into trap. But I am aware about that. It’s my personal life. But also I got something in 2010. My philosophy, my thinkings and the way of thinking is still same no change. The most mentionable issue is that I have missed Eid Ul Azha with my family. I was in tour to another district because my parents were in Saudi Arabia for Hajj.

I have turned off some extra curriculum activities. In the last month of 2010 I have made some new dreams.

Actually my emotion is not my fault. Because through my past life it can be or it should be kept some emotion. And that’s why I can get more inspiration from my emotion. But I am remaining to be realistic. Some person try to misuse my emotion. And also I know that. But my emotion is not my weakness. And sometimes some people make me the ball within a sports field and play with me . I really dislike it though I can guess and retrieve their motive before something happen. Missing someone from my heart. Want to get more inspiration and want to build some of my symbolic work for this world. Want more happiness in the world. Want secure technology. Want to make more consciousness about the positive use of technology. Like to implement my previous and present plan. Want to continue and finish my?under-graduation. Want to get response through intimacy. That’s all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011. Actually I usually don’t send any wishing message or something like that. I want such those things who will be exist since long time. Only one day celebration, one day enjoyment can’t give me something. I always want to see the continuous celebration, continuous brotherhood,?continuous humanity. Want to respect the culture of Bengali. I don’t like to think myself as a smarter in this as usual speed and way without my judgement. Want to reformation of my life with new standard scale and philosophy that is not changeable with the age of society. Change of motive is good but it’s bad if it occurs without your own judgement.

Shaharia is a professional software engineer with more than 10 years of experience in the relevant fields. Digital ad certified, cloud platform architect, Big data enthusiasts, tech early adopters.

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